The First Man - Alex Kelly (Blog Tour & Review)

Date of Reading: 9/3/2021

Author: Alex Kelly

Publication Date: February 25, 2021

Rating: 4/5

(This review is part of the blog tour organised by Rachel's Random Resources)

About the book:

Shane

Do you want to know what it means to live like me?

It means being forced not to look at him, not to touch him, not to be left alone in the same room as him.

Not to seek him out. Not to want him.

Not to love him.

Do you know how it feels to spend your entire life pretending to be someone else? Do you know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t want to be loved?

I’ll tell you how it feels.

It feels as if you’re living in constant torment: you know which path you should follow, but you also know that, if you follow that path, you can never turn back.

And I can’t do that to him.

Every day I come back because I know that he’s waiting for me.

Every day I promise him that he will never have to live without me.

Andy

Do you know what it means to live like me?

It means being forced not to touch him, not to kiss him, not to be able to leave the room while he’s still in it.

Not to breathe him in, not to lust after him.

Not to love him.

Do you know how it feels to spend your entire life pretending to be someone else? Do you know what it’s like to love the only person you’re not allowed to love?

I’ll tell you how it works.

You can’t seem to feel anything other than him; when you walk away, you know that you’re turning your back on the only thing that’s good in your life.

Yet you still walk away.

Every day I leave, knowing that he will be standing there, watching.

Every day I ask him to promise me that I will never have to live without him.

Review:

        I have mixed feelings on this one. Since the story doesn't take place in the 16th or 18th century or in a brutal society that looks down on homosexuality with hostility, I still can't fathom what all this fuss is about. Couldn't they really confess their love and get it over with? Well, nothing is as simple as that. Inner demons are always the worst.

        Shane and Andy have been in a secret relationship for seventeen years now, emphasis on the 'secret' here. Since it is a closely-knit community, keeping it hidden means, it is more or less an emotional, non-touchy relationship. Why can't they come out of the closet? Several reasons: Andy's family is not well-liked and he may lose customers from his pub. Shane, on the other hand, is from a wealthy background and is not sure about his family's reaction to this piece of news. Then there is the fact that it all started when one is a minor. Even though it is the said minor who initiated everything, will anyone really believe it? So you see, it is not easy even in this century.

        Told from the perspectives of both protagonists, we get to see the agonies and frustrations they undergo and our first reservations on them slowly fade to a sense of pathos. It does end happily but the reality this story addresses can never be forgotten.

Meet the author:

Alex Kelly writes uplifting, emotional and heartwarming Romantic Fiction and Family Sagas.

She's a bibliophile, a Yogi, a lover of English literature and a baking enthusiast. She was born in Italy but lives in Ireland with her husband, two children and a cat named Oscar.

Social Media Links – 

Website: www.authoralexkelly.com

Facebook: https://bit.ly/2EY07e3

Twitter: https://twitter.com/AKelly_Writes

Instagram: https://bit.ly/3aXiHNk