“A woman who was just dumped
needs a shoulder to cry on, not a critic -- ‘It’s not your fault’, ‘He just
wasn’t the right guy for you’ -- a friend who can say this”, says June, in my
favorite Korean movie Seducing Mr.
Perfect. Life is never smooth and when the enraged waves smash against you,
we need someone to fall back on – parents, friends, pets or teachers – whose company
gives a sense of assurance that we are not alone and this is not the end. And
their presence fuels us with enough energy to move on or continue what we love.
It was my 12th
standard board exams. Language papers are over giving us minimal trouble and
then comes the turn of the terrible three – Physics, Chemistry and Biology – of
which the first one gives me nightmares. There is a two days gap which I plan
to devote to revisions and also to practice the question papers of previous
years. Sitting on my usual spot on the staircase I started with the last years
question and finished those within fifteen minutes. Woo!!! I was able to answer
TWO QUESTIONS!!!
Sometimes we desire for the
blessings of a coma, to sleep and escape without any qualms. I just wanted to
die but that is not so. I will be eighteen soon (I reminded myself) and being
an adult I am supposed to face situation in a matured way and most importantly --
no more tears. Easy to say, my eyes were already brimming, asking for the
floodgates to be opened and I didn’t know what to do. My brain is swept clean
and there is no sign of those twisting formulas which I have shelved with lots
of hard work. And I have two days . . . only.
As usual my siblings have spied
on my sad pledge and I ran to the usual refuge, Mom. Will I ever be old enough
not to depend on her? I don’t know and I don’t want to be. The cozy kitchen
with its familiar smells never fails to give me the confidence I need. She was
wise enough to grasp my state of mind and kindly asked me to start over and
that is what I did. Soon the little kitchen table got filled with my text books
and notes and I began reading aloud to this silent listener. Mom took a leave
from work and sat there with me patiently, listening and gently correcting when
needed. And on entering the exam hall with her blessings and best wishes, I
knew I will pass and I did . . . with distinction.
It’s been years now and I have
crossed bigger hurdles, but I could never forget that day when my life stopped
almost and I needed hope and support of a firm ground. And I could never
completely thank my Mom for being there with me always.
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